The Wright Firm's Weblog

Married to Her Stepdad?

As a child, Orola Dalbot really liked her stepfather.  He was kind and good-looking.  However, Orola was horrified when she found out that the man was not only her stepfather – he was her husband!  Orola was married at the age of 3 in the same wedding as her mother to the same man, but she did not find out that she was married until she turned 13. 

 

The unusual marriage relationship came about because of an old custom of Orola’s tribe, the Mandi people of Bangladesh.  Orola’s mother Mittamoni was widowed at the age of 25.  According to tribal rules, for Mittamoni to remarry – she had to marry someone in the same family clan as her deceased husband.  The problem was, and is for many other women in the Mandi tribe, that there weren’t many unmarried men available who were both of marrying age and of the correct family clan.  So, Mittamoni’s only option for a groom was a 17-year-old man. When a Mandi widow marries a much younger man, tribal tradition requires that the widow offer her daughter as a sort of “alternate bride” to take over the wifely duties (yes, ALL of them) when the daughter comes of age.

 

Mothers and daughters share a lot, but can you imagine having to share a husband with your mom?  The multi-marriage took a toll on Orola’s relationship with her mother, particularly when their shared husband began to prefer his younger bride.  Her mother apparently went so far as to spike Orola’s food to make her sick, so that Mittamoni could have a night with their husband.

 

Hopefully, none of our blog readers have a family situation THIS complicated.  But whatever your family drama involves – The Wright Firm is here to help you!  If you have an ongoing or potential divorce, child custody case, child support case, or other family law issue be sure to give us a call at (972) 353-4600 or check us out on the web at www.thewrightlawyers.com!

 

Original story can be found here:  http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=30351206&GT1=32002

 

Marriage: The Right Institution?

With high profile scandalous divorces hitting the newsstands and various websites, it causes one to ponder, is marriage truly the right institution? Celebrities, neighbors, and even clergy appear to have these “perfect” marriages, with “perfect” families and yet wind up in these wildly scandalous divorces. Stories and rumors of sexcapades, paternity lawsuits, custody battles, and undisclosed settlements to keep “baby mama’s” mouths closed. Is it that women have entered the workplace and are too tired for the occasional romp or that men simply can’t keep their pants zipped? Women becoming disenchanted when their Prince Charming begins to resemble a toad with a tire around his waist, or men feeling trapped by the kids, the nagging wife, and the constant demands for money and time? Who knows the reasons by but someone should know the answers about how to maneuver through the “semi-happy marriage”.

Historian Pamela Haag writes about a “semi-happy marriage”. And describes it “as one of low conflict, low passion, and low satisfaction. One minute, you love the stability and contentment. The next minute, you think it’s not the right marriage, and there are flaws in the marriage that are serious, even though there are also great things about the marriage," (Haag, Pamela "Marriage Confidential: The Post-Romantic Age of Workhorse Wives, Royal Children, Undersexed Spouses, and Rebel Couples Who Are Rewriting the Rules). Haggs says in other words, "one minute you can't imagine staying, the next you can't imagine leaving, It’s these kinds of marriages that are 'low-conflict' but not all that satisfying that contribute the lion’s share to divorce court each year." (Haag, Pamela)

Are people getting married because it’s what is expected of them or because we are taught early on that marriage is an institution that is right for everyone and if you don’t marry there something wrong with you? And is our current generation (the product of broken homes and nontraditional relationships) growing up to believe an entirely different concept? That marriage isn’t a necessity rather parenting through relationships without the institution is the safer more viable way to go. If so, how does this impact your average family law case? Does it really take the sting out of the break up?

I’ve got to say no. The idea that people may feel “trapped” or “bored” because in a marriage they have taken vows and aren’t “allowed” to commit adultery, have extramarital affairs, or supposed to be spending late nights out on the town without their significant other or otherwise have to be accountable to another doesn’t relieve them of their responsibilities. Those responsibilities and accountabilities that we have to others whether in relationships or through marriage don’t disappear because most of the time children are involved. Whether in a marriage or in a non-traditional relationship people need to understand that whether it’s a divorce or a SAPCR there is a level of accountability. If you find yourself in a “semi-happy marriage” or want to consider ways to avoid the institution all together while raising a family in a non-traditional way…do yourself a favor and get educated on the matter. A good family law attorney committed to you and your family will help you navigate your way though the “semi happy marriage” by potentially helping you save your marriage and at the very least helping your family unit stay intact.

Call the lawyers at the Wright Firm if you’d like information on your “semi-happy marriage” and options that may be available to you and your family 972-353-4600 or on the web at www.thewrightlawyers.com.